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I'm April, 20, a blogger, a twitter, a dreamer, Blackberry fan, starting her life all over again. .

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Sunday, January 9, 2011
I can never trust.

Today, I came to realize that I really can never trust him again. It hurts me so much, that even the slightest thing he does makes me think he's cheating on me. What should I do? I love him too much. But like people say, "Moving on is like eating bitter vegetables, it tastes awful but you know its good for you.." I can't imagine myself being miserable all my life with him. I know I will be, because when I'm with him, all I do is think. Endless thinking that he might be with someone, or he might be talking on the phone with someone, or he might be lying to be. AHHHHHHH!!! I don't like that feeling. I just wish one day, all these feelings I have for him will go and I'll just laugh about it. I can't forget the very day I felt ugly because he calls other girls makes me think I'm not enough. I felt ugly and useless. I know I'm not the prettiest out there, but I should have at least a bit of confidence left, but it was gone. It's just gone. Should I turn on my phone? I want to. It's killing me. But it will kill both of us if I still continue. I dont know.

I dont know.