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I'm April, 20, a blogger, a twitter, a dreamer, Blackberry fan, starting her life all over again. .

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Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls.

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Sunday, January 9, 2011
I can never trust.

Today, I came to realize that I really can never trust him again. It hurts me so much, that even the slightest thing he does makes me think he's cheating on me. What should I do? I love him too much. But like people say, "Moving on is like eating bitter vegetables, it tastes awful but you know its good for you.." I can't imagine myself being miserable all my life with him. I know I will be, because when I'm with him, all I do is think. Endless thinking that he might be with someone, or he might be talking on the phone with someone, or he might be lying to be. AHHHHHHH!!! I don't like that feeling. I just wish one day, all these feelings I have for him will go and I'll just laugh about it. I can't forget the very day I felt ugly because he calls other girls makes me think I'm not enough. I felt ugly and useless. I know I'm not the prettiest out there, but I should have at least a bit of confidence left, but it was gone. It's just gone. Should I turn on my phone? I want to. It's killing me. But it will kill both of us if I still continue. I dont know.

I dont know.

Saturday, January 8, 2011
Welcome!

So, I'm here again starting a bloggy. I once tried keeping up with my old blog, but for some reason I deleted it. I'm just a wierdo. Anyways, so today is a start of a new year. I would like to start it right. I may had wrong decisions and attempts to change over the past years, but I still want to give it a shot. Life is short, and we have to cherish every moment we're here. From now on, this will be my kinda like an e-diary (short for Electronic Diary). I will post every special, random, sad, extraordinary, even the slightest thing in here. I will be open with my feelings and with myself, actually that's a part of my new years resolution. I will do my best to keep it up. So again, WELCOME to my life!

xoxo,
April